Male Interviews: Opinon 2

Hello Blogworld,
  This is the continuation of my previous post on male perspectives of relationships. If any guys want to participate, I would love to hear from you so send me an email. 

Comment, Tweet, and Enjoy

ANCHAVER

1) Tell me what does a man look for in a girlfriend and how does it differ 4rm what he looks for in a wife?

Basically the same thing, I don't go into a relationship if there is no future in it. We're better off being mutually beneficial if we can't date.

2) Is there a marriage age for a guy and if so what is it?

LOL! I would say 27 to 30, different folks, different strokes though. But 27 seems ideal to me.

3)How do/did you know your babe is the one?
I don't believe it is possible to know the one instantly, there are so many sides to a person that you have to learn to accommodate and at times tolerate, most of which take time. So the concept of "the one" is not really logical.

4)What are your views on divorce
I don't want to knock those who go through it, but its not something I support, divorce damages the fabric of society and has a lot of ripple effects. So I'd insist on 110% commitment to be sure my relationship is a life time venture.

5) Why do you think divorce is more common these days and in especially in younger couples?
I think its because a lot of people rush into things they are not ready for and end up rushing out. The more people get divorced, the more excuses others have to do so.

6) Do you think your parent’s marriage or divorce influences your decisions in picking your wife or your marriage?
Definitely, you can see their problems, mistakes and successes firsthand, which is always an ideal learning experience.

7) Do you think women are less tolerant nowadays or men are less resistant to change?
Well, it goes both ways really. There is the need for tolerance and change on both parts, so I would have to say yes.

K

1) Tell me what does a man look for in a girlfriend and how does it differ 4rm what he looks for in a wife?

 -Gf: pretty face, good body, good sex; I make sure my gf has the wife qualities though so that I am not wasting my time.

Wife: prayerful, home-maker characteristics, mother traits, not troublesome/feisty, etc

 2) Is there a marriage age for a guy and if so what is it?
For me there isn't. I always thought I'd get married at 30/32 but now that I am in a serious relationship I feel like I can get married in as little as two years, provided I'm comfortable and independent and able to maintain a home. Especially because my girlfriend and I are within the same age range.


3)How did/do you know your babe is the one?
I think it's instinctive and subjective.


4) What are your views on divorce
Ideally, I would never like to divorce. I would rather seek alternative ways of resolving any disputes, especially after we have had kids together.


5) Why do you think divorce is more common these days and especially in younger couples?

I think our moral values have lowered a lot, sadly.

6) Do you think your parent’s marriage or divorce influences your decisions in picking your wife or your marriage? 
Yes, certainly. Luckily my parents have a strong marriage so I watch them. From the way they relate to each other I have an idea which of their traits I would pick and which I wouldn't; as well as which of their parenting skills I agree with and which I do not.


7) So do you think women are less tolerant nowadays or men are less resistant to change?
I'm not sure I have an answer to that

 

LAMI

1)       Tell me what does a man look for in a girlfriend and how does it differ 4rm what he looks for in a wife?
Girlfriend = Fun and Adventure. Wife = Companionship and Support.

 2) Is there a marriage age for a guy and if so what is it?

No marriage age but many would say preferably before 30

3)How did/do you know your babe is the one?

 I don't have a girlfriend so cannot answer that.

 4)What are your views on divorce?

 Till death do us part. Unless there is domestic violence, I'll actively support anyone being abused by a spouse to leave that relationship. 

       5) Why do you think divorce is more common these days and especially in younger couples?

 I think people rush into marriage these days and rush out almost immediately. Either they went in for the wrong reasons or they are just not patient enough to work through tough times.

6) Do you think your parents marriage or divorce influences your decisions in picking your wife or your marriage?

 Absolutely. My parents are still together so I want to make sure I find someone who will stick with me through thick and thin and vice versa. It's a hard task these days. 

 7) So do you think women are less tolerant nowadays or men are less resistant to change?

 I think the relationship you find yourself in will dictate the answer to this question. I however also think that tolerance is not the forte of many women in Nigerian society today.

I've got a couple of more coming up, so stay tuned!

xoxo

Miss B

Male Interviews: Opinion 1

Hello blog world,
A friend of mine told me about a recently divorced couple in Lagos, both under 30 and it really got me curious. It seems everyday people are getting married but an equal amount are breaking up. But you do not post pictures of the divorce on Bella or BBM. A bunch of my guy friends have been getting married or are engaged and it occurred to me that that there were some questions I had always wanted to know. So I interviewed an array of them from varied backgrounds to ask questions that we really need to know.
I will put up a different person's everyday so please comment and let me know what you think or if you want to participate.



Here is my 30 year cousin who recently got married.

1) Tell me what does a man look for in a girlfriend and how does it differ 4rm what he looks for in a wife?

A girlfriend is someone you date and get to know, someone you have fun with spend time with and don't really have any serious commitment or ties to. It differs from a wife because you future is shared with a wife, your goals, dreams and aspirations both personally and professionally. Your wife is your best friend and the one who will pick you up when you are down.

2) Is there a marriage age for a guy and if so what is it?

Personally there should be no marriage age for anyone, Marriage age is a fabrication of society as is weight and style. The only thing that matters is when you and your partner are ready. The only catch is children. I decide to marry before 30 so I could have children early and be in a good age range with them as they get older.

3)How did/do you know your babe is the one?

You are never sure someone is "the one" you have to trust your gut and go with what god says. Many people say they fell like they married their soul mate, well what about the others that didn't and are still happy.

4)What are your views on divorce?

Divorce happens, there is no doubt about it sometimes two people were never meant to be, or they grow apart. It unfortunately is something that happens, however I think people use it as their crutch.

5)Why do you think divorce is alot more common today especially in younger people?

The reason for this is divorce is the greatest excuse to quit something. People today are more educated and less patient and would rather walk away due to foolish pride than stay and fight. Love is dead and pride and individualism killed it. When people are so sure that after 3 months a divorce is the ideal thing to do, how can anything last. The media has also glorified divorce, look around at the rate of celebrity divorce that is show to us, nobody ever explains what really happened or if they tried to work on it, they just state the divorce is final. It is simple people would rather quit than to fight hard for something, what does it say about society?


6) do you think your parents marriage or divorce influences your decisions in picking your wife or your marriage?

Yes it absolutely does, everyone wants a life better than their parents, so if you come from a divorce home or a successful home you will always want better (not to be divorced and a better marriage). Nothing is perfect but your decisions and influences are based on your experiences.

7) So dya think women are less tolerant nowadays or men are less resistant to change?

I think both. Woman today want the glamour and worship bestowed upon them like their mothers but don't want to do the work like their mothers did, and men want a woman who is obedient and submissive, but won't treat her well enough when she is. Society is absolutely backwards, Woman are quick to run and try to do it themselves and men are quick to push them out the door as there are more options.

Enjoy and let me know what you think.
Xoxo
Miss B

The Law School Clearance Nightmare

Hello blogworld,
     I had to write this post out of fraustration so forgive me if I sound a little harsh. Passing through any Nigerian institution or NYSC always starts with 'registration' and ends with 'clearance'. Online registration is usually used at some stage but this never aids the process. For Law school, I had to go through 'clearance' last week and it was an increadibly long, fraustrating and tiring process. Part of what makes it so fraustrating is the fact that it could actually be so so simple.

The first step involves paying N30,000 as 'Call to Bar Fees' to a Zenith account and then N2000 to a GTB account as your 'Practising Fee'. For those that do not know, banks in Nigeria tend to be a nightmare with queues, so it is advisable to do this a day before your actual clearance date. Alot of the bank staff usually have no clue what you are talking about, and have to ask a supervisor or find the special teller from someone else. A friend of mine went into a GTB and was told that they had run out of the special tellers and had to try another branch. GTB branches are not exactly at every corner.

The next step involves every single Nigerian Law School student travelling to Bwari to submit the required documentation. This includes people who have been in various campuses across the country and have never been to Bwari. On my way to school we spotted a girl on a bike around Dutse heading to law school and gave her a ride. She was from Enugu campus and had never been to Bwari before. She had come on an overnight bus the day before. The journey from Dutse to Bwari on a bike is really not one that I would recommend as even in a car, it is a stretch. I really cannot understand why everyone cannot undergo their clearance in their various campuses.
In a country where transportation is so unsafe, how inconsiderate is it to expect people to travel all the way to Bwari to submit pieces of paper that are eventually thrown on the floor? Better yet, how about the whole process is done online, and no one has to leave their homes?

Once you get to Bwari, you have to go from one ridiculous queue to another, in the boiling heat, in order to submit the bank teller, your printed result (which they already have pasted on a wall), your transcript (which they also already have on record) and your assesments from attachment (which they gave you in the first place).

The next stage involves getting your certificate. You would think this would be easy, but mine was no where to be found. A number of people had their names mispelt or had the wrong grade printed on it. I was being sent from one office to the other in order to search for mine, but it was eventually concluded that it must have been an oversight and I would have to return the next day to get another one. Lucky for me I stay in Abuja, but a number of people flew into Abuja in the morning and had flights booked to return on the same day. With not so much as an apology, I was sent home to continue the process the next day.

On my way to school the next day in an unmarked taxi, we were stopped by 'Bwari Area Council Local Government Tax Force' not once, but twice, as cabs from town were not allowed to come into Bwari without paying some toll. We had to fork out N3000 in order for us to continue.

After getting the certificate, the next step is to go to the Supreme Court which is in the heart of town, to get it stamped, and then bring it back to Bwari to exchange it for your invite to the Call to Bar Ceremony. The process is just as ridiculous as it sounds, and most people have to get it done in a day.

There is no consideration for the cost of transportation for people to go back and forth three times in one day. The road to Bwari is not exactly great. This is an example of my friend Tonye's cost of Clearance:

Return flight to Abuja from Port-Harcourt: 30,000
Change of flight- (as she finished too late to make her flight)- 3000
Taxi from airport to Bwari- 5,500
Taxi to Supreme Court, Bwari and back into town- 6000
Hotel for the night- 7000

TOTAL COST FOR CLEARANCE:  N51,000


The man writing reciepts as the Supreme Court boasted about how he had been doing this for over 10 years. After 10 years, has no one thought that there surely has to be  an easier way to get it done?

Well if no one has, then I have.

Dear Director General of Nigerian Law School,
Head of Student Affairs,
Anyone else in charge of this process.

I hope you are doing well. I hope you enjoy my blog posts from time to time. I have come up with a very simple solution to make the 'clearance' process much easier.

You do not need a 'clearance' process.

All the documentation you require us to submit are already in your posession from registration. Our court and chamber attachment slips are given to us to submit at this time. How about you do not give it to us at all as when we bring them back, they all end up in the trash. Make a note of those who did not successfully complete the attachment process and let everyone else continue to the next step.

The bank will be able to provide you with a code system, as is done with our fees, which can be entered into an online portal to ensure that call to bar fees are paid before hand. We do not need to enter flights, buses and bikes in order to submit a bank teller. This is the 2012 afterall.

The invites can ge given out on the day of the call. It just requires a little organisation, which I know you are not great with, but really this system is not sustainable.

I hope my suggestions will be considered before someone gets injured trying to go for 'Clearance', only to travel for Call to Bar 2 weeks later.


Many Thanks
Miss B